Another tease because I'm a bad girl like that!
Kaz practiced the following day at Wembley Stadium with the rest of the band. They decided to only run through a few songs because he would have to save up most of his strength for that night.
The stadium and venue were massive but they’d also sold out both concerts within an hour. The pace would be packed solid while he played his heart out and his girlfriend wouldn’t talk to him. She took photos while Damira continued her documentary.
“Love you like a drug, what we truly fighting for? Is this just to keep me in pain and tethered to your broken soul or are we really meant to act this cold? Do you really want me or is it what I can give you? Do you care about me at all while life keeps fucking me over? Will you continue to fuck me over to because I happen to be close and need to be used…by you?”
Kaz breathed into the mic as Jaden played one of the most intricate and difficult guitar solos while Will strummed the base and Grant played the drums.
He’d promised himself “Use Me, Abuse Me” would never be played at another concert after he and Damira divorced. It was an ode to her and every other fucked up relationship he’d endured. The song depressed the hell out of him because it was the first song he’d written while Randall continued his sadistic behavior.
The lyrics were a direct reminder of what he had been going through while he pretended the song was about a young woman, it was really about Randall and their twisted relationship. His brother would never know and neither would any of his significant others but the look on Syd’s face was all knowing.
It was much too eerie to look into those eyes and knew she glimpsed his soul. She took a few more candid photos before she walked away and once again, he was alone and without the only woman he’d loved for much too long but couldn’t be bothered to actually say the words she so desperately needed to hear.
Kaz knew he was pathetic but everything was always done on his terms. They always had and they always would be regardless who came in and out of his life.
Keren had understood that and so had Damira but he realized Sydney Landvik couldn’t be compared to either of these two previous women. She was someone else entirely and she would fight him for an equal amount of domination and control every step of the way. She never gave in, not even when she lost her virginity to him. It was still on her terms and he’d been so blinded by lust, he hadn’t seen the forest for the trees.
All along she had been manipulating the situation to her benefit and he failed to comprehend this simple fact until that very moment.
“Use me and abuse me, take everything from me but know that you are drainin’ my very soul. Do you want a part of me or all of me? Tell me what you need from me -- just make the pain go away and I’ll do anything you say. Lay me down to die, make me want to cry just don’t leave me here like this!
“Use me and abuse me but you’ll never have all of me, my world has stopped spinning and I know that I am winning. I’ll fight you and I’ll beat you and I’ll feel every part of you but soon there will be nothing left to lust and existence will just cease…for both of us. I beg of you to…stop.”
The song ended and Kaz slid the mic on the stand before he walked off the stage without a word.
To Be Continued...
Happy Sunday and have a wonderful day!