Another tease because I'm a bad girl like that!
Excerpt
Kaz
practiced the following day at Wembley Stadium with the rest of the band. They
decided to only run through a few songs because he would have to save up most
of his strength for that night.
The
stadium and venue were massive but they’d also sold out both concerts within an
hour. The pace would be packed solid while he played his heart out and his
girlfriend wouldn’t talk to him. She took photos while Damira continued her
documentary.
“Love you like a drug, what we truly fighting
for? Is this just to keep me in pain and tethered to your broken soul or are we
really meant to act this cold? Do you really want me or is it what I can give
you? Do you care about me at all while life keeps fucking me over? Will you
continue to fuck me over to because I happen to be close and need to be used…by
you?”
Kaz
breathed into the mic as Jaden played one of the most intricate and difficult
guitar solos while Will strummed the base and Grant played the drums.
He’d
promised himself “Use Me, Abuse Me” would never be played at another concert
after he and Damira divorced. It was an ode to her and every other fucked up
relationship he’d endured. The song depressed the hell out of him because it
was the first song he’d written while Randall continued his sadistic behavior.
The
lyrics were a direct reminder of what he had been going through while he
pretended the song was about a young woman, it was really about Randall and
their twisted relationship. His brother would never know and neither would any
of his significant others but the look on Syd’s face was all knowing.
It
was much too eerie to look into those eyes and knew she glimpsed his soul. She
took a few more candid photos before she walked away and once again, he was
alone and without the only woman he’d loved for much too long but couldn’t be
bothered to actually say the words she so desperately needed to hear.
Kaz
knew he was pathetic but everything was always done on his terms. They always
had and they always would be regardless who came in and out of his life.
Keren
had understood that and so had Damira but he realized Sydney Landvik couldn’t
be compared to either of these two previous women. She was someone else
entirely and she would fight him for an equal amount of domination and control
every step of the way. She never gave in, not even when she lost her virginity
to him. It was still on her terms and he’d been so blinded by lust, he hadn’t
seen the forest for the trees.
All
along she had been manipulating the situation to her benefit and he failed to
comprehend this simple fact until that very moment.
“Use me and abuse me, take everything from me
but know that you are drainin’ my very soul. Do you want a part of me or all of
me? Tell me what you need from me -- just make the pain go away and I’ll do
anything you say. Lay me down to die, make me want to cry just don’t leave me
here like this!
“Use me and abuse me but you’ll never have
all of me, my world has stopped spinning and I know that I am winning. I’ll
fight you and I’ll beat you and I’ll feel every part of you but soon there will
be nothing left to lust and existence will just cease…for both of us. I beg of
you to…stop.”
The
song ended and Kaz slid the mic on the stand before he walked off the stage
without a word.
To Be Continued...
Happy Sunday and have a wonderful day!
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